Understanding somatic work and the freedom to respond differently
You know why you do it.
You have talked about it. Read about it. Connected the dots between your childhood, your relationships and the patterns you keep finding yourself in.
Then someone says something in a particular tone.
Your jaw tightens. You clench your fists. You snap.
Or you freeze. The words disappear. You agree to something you did not want, and afterwards you wonder why you could not just say no.
“I understand all of this. Why am I still reacting?”
This is a conversation I have with women who have already done a lot of inner work.
You are aware. You are committed. You can explain what happens beautifully.
But in the moment, understanding does not always give you access to a different response.
This is where I bring the body into the work.
What is somatic work?
Somatic work brings attention to your experience within the body.
Your breathing. Your posture. The tension you recognise. The movement you hold back. What happens to your voice when you try to say something that matters.
We get curious about what is happening as it happens.
You can think about a boundary for hours. In a session, we can also explore what happens when you actually speak it.
Does your breath stop? Do your shoulders fold in? Do you laugh to soften the words? Do you immediately want to take them back?
Now we have something practical to work with.
We can adapt the exercise, find support, try a different position, work with movement or sound, and practise saying those words while remaining connected to yourself.
You are giving yourself an experience of doing something different.
When the present carries an echo from the past
“An echo from the past” is a phrase I use to describe a familiar response showing up in a new situation.
Someone’s tone, a look, a silence or a particular kind of interaction can remind you of an earlier experience—even before you have consciously made the connection.
Your breathing changes. You brace. You feel the urge to defend yourself, disappear or keep the other person happy.
Past experiences can influence these reactions. They are also shaped by what is happening now: your stress, exhaustion, health, relationships and whether the situation is actually safe.
We pay attention to both.
Sometimes the question is, “What familiar pattern is showing up?”
Sometimes it is, “What boundary or change is needed here today?”
You deserve more than being told that every uncomfortable response is something you need to fix within yourself.
What I mean when I say the body holds stress
Think about the times you have swallowed your words.
Held back tears. Braced through a difficult conversation. Kept smiling while you were angry. Continued working when you were exhausted.
You might recognise the physical side of those experiences: a tight jaw, raised shoulders, restricted breathing or difficulty settling afterwards.
When I talk about holding stress in the body, this is what I am inviting you to notice.
I use “trapped” or “held” as language for the experience of feeling stuck in a familiar response. Emotions are not literally sealed inside a muscle waiting to be emptied, and you do not have to recover or express every past feeling to move forward.
We can begin with what is happening for you now.
Where do you brace? Where do you lose your words? What do you notice when you want to act differently?
Your body tells a story
You can tell yourself, “I’m fine. I’ve dealt with it.”
Then bedtime comes, and you cannot settle.
Or you wake with an aching jaw. Notice your fists tightening during a conversation. Realise you have been holding your breath while answering a message.
Your body gives you information worth listening to.
It does not give us a diagnosis or tell us exactly what happened in your past. Jaw pain, teeth grinding and sleep difficulties have several possible causes; persistent symptoms deserve appropriate dental or medical attention.
And there is still value in noticing how you meet your day.
Where are you holding yourself together at the cost of being connected to yourself?
That question can open a very different conversation.
What happens in one-to-one somatic work with me?
One-to-one work gives us space to focus on your particular experience.
The moments you react. The situations where you become small. The things you want to say but cannot seem to get out.
I am trauma trained, and I bring together breathwork, somatic practices, movement, voice, expression and role-play.
We choose the approach around what we are exploring and how you respond.
We work with the breath
We notice what happens to your breathing and explore appropriate techniques for the session.
Some practices are energising. Others support settling. You learn the difference and develop an understanding of what supports you.
We work with movement and expression
We explore posture, movement and sound.
For example, we can notice the difference between folding into yourself and taking up space. Explore pushing through your hands as you practise a boundary. Give words a voice rather than keeping them inside your head.
Expression is an invitation. You have choice over what you try and when you stop.
We use role-play
This is one of the practical parts of the work.
You can practise saying:
“No, that does not work for me.”
“I need time before I answer.”
“That is what I want.”
We notice what comes up and work with it.
There is room for experimentation, play and laughter here too. Personal work does not have to be heavy every minute to be meaningful.
We connect the session to your life
The experience matters. So does what you do afterwards.
The boundary you practise. The conversation you approach differently. The moment you recognise tension before you say yes out of habit.
That is where the work becomes part of your choices.
Building your capacity: the window of tolerance
You might have heard the term “window of tolerance”.
It is a framework for describing the range of activation within which you can stay present, think and engage without becoming overwhelmed or shutting down.
In our work, building capacity means exploring manageable experiences and learning how to return to steadiness.
We move between engaging and settling. We notice what is enough. We adapt when something becomes too much.
We are developing your ability to stay connected while something matters.
To speak while feeling nervous. To recognise anger and choose your response. To experience desire without immediately dismissing it.
Capacity grows through practice that respects your limits.
What does change look like?
Change becomes meaningful in ordinary moments.
You notice your jaw tightening and pause before replying.
You recognise that your yes is automatic and give yourself time.
You feel angry and communicate a boundary.
You find your words sooner after freezing.
You recover from a difficult moment and return to your day with more clarity.
You will still have feelings. Progress can include setbacks. But there is more room to choose how you meet an experience.
That is the direction I work towards with you.
Freedom is at the heart of my work
Freedom of choice.
Freedom of expression.
Freedom to be who you want to be.
These are the things I stand for.
I want you to be able to hear yourself and act on what matters to you.
To ask:
Where am I still holding myself back?
Where am I making myself small?
What do I want to do next?
What needs to change for me to move towards it?
Feeling grounded becomes a foundation for living. For taking up space. For making decisions. For allowing your life to reflect more of who you are.
A place to begin today
Choose an ordinary, manageable moment when you notice tension. You do not need to bring up a traumatic memory.
Look around and notice where you are. Feel the support beneath you.
Ask yourself:
What is happening in my body?
What am I about to do automatically?
What choice would support me here?
That choice could be pausing, stepping away, asking for time or saying a clear no.
Keep your eyes open if that helps. If focusing on your body increases distress, stop and bring your attention back to your surroundings.
This is a first practice in noticing and choosing.
You do not have to stay where you are
Just because this is how you respond today does not mean it is the only response available to you.
You can learn. You can practise. You can have support as you explore something different.
If you have done the understanding and are ready to bring your body into the work, send me a message about The Libre Woman, my one-to-one mentorship.
We can talk about what you want to change, how I work and whether the space is right for you.
I want you to have more than insight.
I want you to have room to express yourself, make choices and move towards the life you want.
With love,
Kat
Peony Libre
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